LightInTheBox.com has a lot of busy staff and they’re just dying to meet you! Today we’re interviewing Greg. He’s our Creative Content Department’s resident tech geek. Greg is getting ready to leave our company, so wants to pass on some special wisdom. Let’s see what he has to say…
I know you, because I sit next to you.
You seem happy.
I’m always happy. I don’t get sad. When I get sad I still look happy so people ask me what I’m happy about and I’m like “dude, I’m upset right now. Go away.”
Where are you from?
A lot of people in this company say you look like Barrack Obama. Care to comment?
I know someone who saw him once in a diner before he was a household name. Allegedly he was eating a hotdog with mustard on it and that’s wrong. Hawaiian pizza is wrong too, there’s a lot of things that bother me about food. Don’t get me started. Like, you can’t just say you have jerked chicken if you’re going to cut corners. You don’t come correct with your spice? I hate that. No, really – when people describe food a way and then don’t follow through and you go in there and look at the menu – and I don’t even want to start on misleading menu photos – and you’re left with I don’t know what on your plate it’s just insulting… and it sucks!
You’re known for your rants.
I like to talk. I’ve gotten in trouble around here a few times for my loud voice but that’s who I am. I’m Greg. People love me.
You can rant about anything. You’re like a terrible morning radio show host.
I don’t know about that. There’s some stuff I love to talk about.
You want me to talk about forks? Forks – OK maybe I can say a little about this…forks can be too pointy. I mean I’m not the type of guy who’s going to send a fork back in a restaurant for being too pointy, but, I’ll totally think it. If anyone’s sitting with me I might comment to them like “what’s the restaurant trying to do, kill us?”. I mean technically they’d be equipping us to kill ourselves, since they’re not sticking the way-too-pointy forks in our mouths, they’re just allowing us to do that ourselves. How sharp does a fork need to be? I’m not eating lettuce. Salad sucks. I never eat salad. If the meat is cooked properly – don’t get me started on dry meat oh my god – but it should be juicy and like, succulent. It shouldn’t need a samurai sword to pick off a plate. Seriously.
Fascinating. What do you do here?
I write tech related content for our blog and website. One of my main projects right now is LITB Labs. That’s where we review and show off our latest high-end tech and gadgets. We’ve had some cool sneak peeks lately where we’ve shown glimpses into our new tech developments. I love what’s happening with the Android tablets and smartphones. I’m a big Android fan. Some of the spy gear’s cool too but I’m into the more high-tech stuff. I read Engadget and stuff. I’m hip.
I hear you’ll be leaving us.
I’m leaving LightInTheBox now for new and exciting things, so Jack’s going to be taking over LITB Labs. I think he can do it. He seems a bit shaky. I saw a video with him presenting a tablet the other day he looked a bit strung out. I don’t think he’s been sleeping well. Someone needs to get him this Sleep-As-An-droid app. It listens to you sleeping and when you’re restless like you’re no longer in REM sleep, that’s when your alarm goes off. So you don’t get woken up when you’re in deep sleep which sucks. I hate that, especially if I was having a dream like I was flying. I love those dreams where you feel weightless and you’re flying over the city. Anyway, I’ve got that app on my awesome phone and it’s awesome and legit.
Jack is a bit of a mess…he’s slow.
I’ve been to Europe a few times. I’m a big Chelsea supporter. I even have a Chelsea desktop wallpaper with Drogba throwing money at homeless people. English people are like that sometimes, they get depressed. Not Drogba, he’s from the Ivory Coast.
Alright I’ll go easy on him. So what’s next for you?
It’s time to branch out and use my talents in the right way. I can’t be stuck behind a keyboard forever. It’s time to take on the world. Have you seen that guy Dr. Gadget? He looks like he’s having a good time and the dude is probably near retirement. Well, I think you’re looking at the next big thing.
So you’re going to become a blow-hard web personality?
Yeah but I’ll be different. I’ve got Jamaican in me, so I’ll put a cool Patois spin on it. So it’s like, I’ve got this tech I’ll be like “Whatagwarn? Rah blud! Dis ting bananas! Ya no see it? Tan’ dere I show yas. Bare features. Android Froyo innit? Buff tech! Ya too red eye! Don’t touch dis wire here, ya shock yaself. Trouble no set like rain!”
Sounds amazing. What’s the best LightInTheBox tech you’ve gotten your hands on?
I’m most interested in our Android tablets. The best tech I’ve used are our high-end tablets. The Malata Z-Pad and the SOWILL Oi Oi S7 are awesome. They’re our high-priced capacitive tablets and it shows. For mid-range tech, I recommend the Othello Tab. That’s a capacitive touchscreen you can afford. If you’re on a budget, Ouku Tab is the best 7 inch resistive touchscreen tablet.
Why did you come to China?
My Mom traveled a lot so I actually went to middle-school here. Returning as an adult felt a bit like coming home. I love Beijing and there’s a lot happening here now that makes it worth sticking around.
Imagine your airplane was shot down by monkeys, who have somehow managed to build giant catapults. You crash on their island and now you live with them. What are three things you’d want to have with you?
Laptop, Samsung Nexus S and a shipping container of Doritos.
No monkey repellant?
Monkeys are not my enemy.
Nor mine. What’s your favorite movie, TV show and band?
My favorite TV show is Archer. Favorite movie is Cabaret…or maybe rent? I love musicals and I love movies that empower homosexuals, I don’t know why. Favorite music, hmmm. I recently saw Fatboy Slim play the Great Wall of China, which was awesome. Shout outs to Yin and all my people in lock-down!
OK. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
Decent interview Greg. I rate it a 7/10 because you really got off-track with the pointy forks.
That’s fine. Whatever.
We’ll miss you.
I’m off to get famous bro!
Greg is leaving us in pursuit of loftier things. Who can blame a man for following his dreams? Not this interviewer…no way. Check back for more insightful fun with our friendly and sometimes entertaining LITB staff.